Man plans, fate laughs

I went out for coffee with Inamorata at lunch again today. We seem to be back in a ‘just friends’ phase (possibly because she doesn’t want to interfere with my burgeoning relationship with Kandi), but as we spoke of life and love she told me that she’d recently laid out to her husband, in no uncertain terms, her reasons for feeling why their relationship was pointless. I asked if she thought this would sort anything and she replied that he would change, but as time rolled on he’d slip back into his old habits and things would end up just the way they always had been.

It’s odd, but I really do hope she manages to find a way to close the slowly growing gap between her and her man, partly because I love her and I want to see her truely happy with the man she loves above all others; partly because if she were to fall head over heels in love with him again, painful as it may be, it might help me to finally let go and move on; but also because the idea of eventually getting what I’ve wanted for so long, a chance to be in a ‘real’ relationship with her, scares the hell out of me.

But the choice is still not mine to make – whatever will be will be… I’m slowly coming to believe her when she says we’d never make it as a couple, but if the time ever comes where we do have the chance to try then maybe it will be a good thing – either it will work or it won’t – and either way at least I’ll get closure of one kind or another

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