It started with an innocent picture message I shared with a group of friends (that includes Inamorata) and ended with us having our first proper conversation in a long time.
We chatted about work initially, then my upcoming holiday, and finally onto more personal (if vague) allusions to our situation and past. I told her I was having difficulties letting go of old ideas and moving on, she replied that she was having similar issues. We danced around the subject a bit, both agreeing that her promotion was the best thing that could have happened for the both of us, before she ended with inferences that whilst her willpower and commitment remain strong alcohol does tend to interfere somewhat.
Although infuriatingly ambiguous as her comments almost always are it was nice to know that I wasn’t the only one wrestling with conflicting emotions. With the prospect of at least a couple of months ahead of us in which we won’t be forced together by work I’m quietly optimistic that there is now at least a small chance we may be able to salvage something of our former friendship. The acid test will no doubt be if and when we finally face each other in person, but until then its just nice to be able to have a semi-normal conversation with the woman I can’t stop myself from loving.